Ok, so not a perfect body in the Angelina Jolie sense, nor Catherine Zeta Jones even post-pregnancy (if I could look like anyone, it would be her). No, I have a perfect body in the Regina Spektor sense. I love this lyric in her song Folding Chair:
I’ve got a perfect body/But somehow I forget/I’ve got a perfect body/’Cause my eyelashes catch my sweat/Yes, they do/They doooooo….
I mean, seriously Body, you are amazing. Not only do your lashes catch sweat, last year at this time you grew a human being in your uterus and it lived off you like a parasite from a placenta you also just grew out of nowhere. You’ve been making milk to feed said parasite on the outside for five months now. You were a rockstar getting that little sucker out during the event you’d rather forget about (but others can read about here). You’ve even miraculously returned to your pre-pregnancy weight.
I know your back hurts and you are recovering from sleep deprivation and your “milk makers” will never be the same. I know I pick and pluck and point out all your flaws everyday in front of the mirror, but Body, you deserve major props. I think you are perfect just the way you are. Yes, I do. I doooo…