Getting bigger…I’m reading “Operating Instructions” by Anne Lamott, and I totally relate to her issues with having a boy. She says, “…we internal Americans of the hetero persuasion have really, really conflicted feelings about you external Americans because of the way you yield those things, their power over us, and especially their power over you.” I always imagined myself very open-minded about gender, but having a little buddy with a penis growing inside me is definitely bringing up my concerns about people of the external variety. I realize I haven’t seen many examples of boys who remain close to their mothers, or of fathers who are demonstrative examples of competent “emotional literacy” (as Lamott calls it). I really want this little guy to be a nice boy. Thank God I married a nice man. I’m sure if I stay out of the way with my baggage, my husband will help my son see what it means to be a loving, caring, respectful human being. And maybe some of my old wounds will heal along the way.